I’m not a stay at home parent, or a parent at all, but my mother was. But I grew up in a community where it was kind of frowned upon - or i suppose we just had very bad luck with our friends family and neighbours - and it weighed down massively on her, and she developed/it exacerbated problems with poor mental health.

The first part of my message is simple; don’t feel bad about being a SaHP, as it can affect the way your kid feels and perceives themselves. Maybe now, or maybe later on in their life. It’s not lazy and it’s not of less value than working for a business.

Having a parent around whenever I was home, skipping (most) of nursery to have it at home with mum - these things were of value. I don’t know how to say this as objectively as possible but in my opinion - and those of adults who met me as a kid - I was a lot better behaved, calmer and more inquisitive than other kids. I think some of this could likely be related to a more constant presence of a guardian, and because of less separation anxiety. I would say that other children felt more as if they had to compete for attention whereas I didn’t.

My bond with my mum is a lot closer than it is for most kids. That’s good for her too, and you have that sense of satisfaction which will build over the course of your life to look forward to.

Then there’s benefits which come down to you yourself. You get to imbue your child with wisdom, skills, and perspectives that they wouldn’t necessarily get if they see you less often. This might be increasingly important in a world where information gets distorted a lot and the philosophy controlling public education is changing.

You get more of an ability to make your child your child. They call it “the formative years” for a reason.

I don’t slight anyone who is unable to do SaH Parenting or take off time for their kids. In an ideal world, every parent would be able to do SaH parenting for young children - unfortunately, our society clearly isn’t geared around actually raising the next generation of children, like it used to be. So don’t feel negative about being a SaHP, please, because it is of great benefit to your children - you can capitalise on that!