Right? Like if a Black guy’s robbing me, it’s not because he’s an [n-word], it’s because he’s an asshole. In other words, it’s not because everyone who looks like him in one way (skin colour, ethnicity — plenty of Black people with no heritage tracing back to the African continent) is sub-human, it’s because this. individual. person. is a shithead.
I actually have this experience. I was once jumped by two Black guys in high school (brothers, I think). I somehow pissed off a gang and this guy (actually a Hispanic guy) wanted me roughed up. Not killed, it wasn’t that serious, but he wanted a message sent. Anyway, I never attributed the attack to their skin colour or their race. If it could be attributed to a broader group, it was the gang, which featured members who were Black and Hispanic and maybe even white or Asian.
I feel like this shouldn’t have to be explained to rational people and I expect a lot of people here are like “no shit dude, you’re preaching to the choir,” I just also find it weird that people are like “fuck you and everyone else who looks like you.” Makes no sense to me.
Oh… even better… I once got into a fight with a bully who happened to be Black in high school. Again, I didn’t hate his whole race because he was a shitty person for whatever reason. We both punched each other, we both got suspended. Years later I see him at a job. He tries to talk to me, but I duck him. Those days, I was getting a ride to work, and walking home at night. So I’m walking home one night and he rolls up on me. He’s got a nice car. Offers me a ride. I get in, he turns the music down. We talk about work. We don’t talk about our past. He doesn’t apologise. He’s not interested in reconciliation. He knows who I am, but we silently, mutually agree, as men, that high school was high school and we’re adults now. He asks if he can drop me off at home. I have him drop me off a couple streets over. He understands, doesn’t take it personally. We shake hands, I thank him for the ride. We never became friends, but if he said hey to me at work, I didn’t duck him. This was over 25 years ago. I have no idea where he is in life. I don’t even recall his name. But I hope he’s a grandfather and has a lot of happiness. I don’t want to meet his kids or grandkids, or even see him again. But I figure maybe he had a rough childhood. I hope he’s doing better these days, because he was doing better last time I saw him.
I look at people as individuals, the product of their combined education (not just school but like “every man is your teacher”) and experience, not as part of their race, and I think that’s how rational people look at it. I guess, anyway.
It’s so easy, almost second nature to do it as far as race goes. Religion is harder. So is sex/gender. But if you can slow down and apply the same logic… I think a lot of things will fall into place. But that’s a story for another time.
But I figure maybe he had a rough childhood. I hope he’s doing better these days, because he was doing better last time I saw him.
This…this is it right here.
My elementary school bully messaged me out of the blue on Facebook a couple years ago…apologizing for being such an asshole and explaining that he had a tough childhood and homelife then. He sincerely seemed sorry. His facebook at least painted the picture of someone with a happy young family who was really trying to break the cycle.
I…honestly didn’t remember him even being one of the worst bullies. But I certainly appreciated him coming back, nearly 30 years later. That was really big of him.
And it made me realize that kids who are bullies aren’t bad people. They are products of their environment. They treat others how they expect to be treated. It’s reflective of parts of their life that you have no visibility to, and as another kid may not even understand. They want to be happy but don’t know how…all they’ve learned is how to make other people unhappy, and that has to make-do.
That’s a tough thing for some adults to comprehend and accept, let alone kids who are targeted by bullies.
Right? Like if a Black guy’s robbing me, it’s not because he’s an [n-word], it’s because he’s an asshole. In other words, it’s not because everyone who looks like him in one way (skin colour, ethnicity — plenty of Black people with no heritage tracing back to the African continent) is sub-human, it’s because this. individual. person. is a shithead.
I actually have this experience. I was once jumped by two Black guys in high school (brothers, I think). I somehow pissed off a gang and this guy (actually a Hispanic guy) wanted me roughed up. Not killed, it wasn’t that serious, but he wanted a message sent. Anyway, I never attributed the attack to their skin colour or their race. If it could be attributed to a broader group, it was the gang, which featured members who were Black and Hispanic and maybe even white or Asian.
I feel like this shouldn’t have to be explained to rational people and I expect a lot of people here are like “no shit dude, you’re preaching to the choir,” I just also find it weird that people are like “fuck you and everyone else who looks like you.” Makes no sense to me.
Oh… even better… I once got into a fight with a bully who happened to be Black in high school. Again, I didn’t hate his whole race because he was a shitty person for whatever reason. We both punched each other, we both got suspended. Years later I see him at a job. He tries to talk to me, but I duck him. Those days, I was getting a ride to work, and walking home at night. So I’m walking home one night and he rolls up on me. He’s got a nice car. Offers me a ride. I get in, he turns the music down. We talk about work. We don’t talk about our past. He doesn’t apologise. He’s not interested in reconciliation. He knows who I am, but we silently, mutually agree, as men, that high school was high school and we’re adults now. He asks if he can drop me off at home. I have him drop me off a couple streets over. He understands, doesn’t take it personally. We shake hands, I thank him for the ride. We never became friends, but if he said hey to me at work, I didn’t duck him. This was over 25 years ago. I have no idea where he is in life. I don’t even recall his name. But I hope he’s a grandfather and has a lot of happiness. I don’t want to meet his kids or grandkids, or even see him again. But I figure maybe he had a rough childhood. I hope he’s doing better these days, because he was doing better last time I saw him.
I look at people as individuals, the product of their combined education (not just school but like “every man is your teacher”) and experience, not as part of their race, and I think that’s how rational people look at it. I guess, anyway.
It’s so easy, almost second nature to do it as far as race goes. Religion is harder. So is sex/gender. But if you can slow down and apply the same logic… I think a lot of things will fall into place. But that’s a story for another time.
This…this is it right here.
My elementary school bully messaged me out of the blue on Facebook a couple years ago…apologizing for being such an asshole and explaining that he had a tough childhood and homelife then. He sincerely seemed sorry. His facebook at least painted the picture of someone with a happy young family who was really trying to break the cycle.
I…honestly didn’t remember him even being one of the worst bullies. But I certainly appreciated him coming back, nearly 30 years later. That was really big of him.
And it made me realize that kids who are bullies aren’t bad people. They are products of their environment. They treat others how they expect to be treated. It’s reflective of parts of their life that you have no visibility to, and as another kid may not even understand. They want to be happy but don’t know how…all they’ve learned is how to make other people unhappy, and that has to make-do.
That’s a tough thing for some adults to comprehend and accept, let alone kids who are targeted by bullies.