I barely manage to make myself look human for a grocery store trip. I like the aesthetics of certain bracelets or rings I have but I don’t really wear them. I like certain makeup looks but without a reason I don’t put any on. I’d like to, but the effort to benefit ratio isn’t there for me. Unless I’m meeting people I care about, I just do the bare minimum to look like a hygienic person.
Tell me your secrets.
Edit: Sorry, thanks for all your replies. It was a bit harder to read this than I expected.
I don’t wear makeup, but I do have morning and evening skincare rituals which I never skip; I take so much pride in how nice my skin is now and don’t really feel the need or desire to explore makeup.
Fashion-wise, I do not ever leave the house without putting full effort into my outfit, accessories, and hair. I tend to look over dressed for a lot of things like store runs or briefly heading out to treat myself to coffee or lunch.
As far as the internal experience… I no longer have intense anxiety about how I’m perceived by others when I’m out. A big part of my transition, aesthetically, is representing the energy and feelings I want to see more in the world. I only wear floral maxi skirts that flow when I walk and cute tops/blouses. I dress myself in clothing that I find comforting, elegant, soft, and safe. When I look in the mirror, I tend to feel those feelings! I’ve gotten so much better about giving myself grace for the things I can’t change about myself right now. Yes, I can tunnel on this or that, but I can also celebrate the aspects of myself that I do super like and put effort into those! My clothing, accessories, and purses are where I channel my feelings!
You go by yourself? What do you feel doing that? Another thing i want to do but can’t seem to bring myself, unless I’m traveling because then I have the tourist excuse.
I do very much prefer to do things with a friend or two, but that’s been the case for the entirety of my life. I do plenty of things on my own though- shopping, cafes, going out to eat, etc!
Feelings-wise, I’ve definitely come a long way. The first year of transitioning was a mental slog, but every step outside of my comfort zone made the following steps feel a little easier - first time wearing pink, wearing a skirt/dress, working on my voice and speech patterns, adjustments to my gait, etc. Every change felt super natural, but the fear of society weighed on me. At some point most of the anxiety melted away.
I am very much aware of people’s eyes on me, and I don’t quite mind if I ‘pass’ because it’s pretty irrelevant to me. I would get super anxious anytime someone came up to me, but in two years of transitioning I’ve only been verbally slighted twice (once by a bratty child and the second by an old woman in a checkout line)… and on the other side, it’s rare for me to not get at least one compliment while I’m out. People have been incredibly kind, affirming, engaged, and supportive. I focus on every positive interaction and let those encourage me to keep being me!
I would definitely give yourself grace 🩷 transitioning or not, I believe there’s a lot of people who feel awkward doing things on their own.