I’ve been in a stable relationship for a while now so naturally the idea of being married to that person comes up. But I just can’t think of any argument in favour of it.

  1. The government is discussing equalising tax groups, so unmarried individuals are no longer disadvantaged compared to married couples.

  2. I engage in a contract with high risk. If I don’t get my legalese right, I risk forfeiting a sizeable portion of my belongings when the contract comes to an end. High risk should entail high reward but in fact I don’t see any reward.

  3. Getting married changes nothing about the relationship. Until recently, the government didn’t even recognise same sex marriages. So if a straight couple gets married, should that make their relationship more valid because the government decides to put a stamp of approval on theirs and not on a gay couple? I hope not.

I’ve tried putting myself in other roles to imagine why I would want to get married. This is what I came up with:

  1. I like labelling things and I like the sound of the label “married”
  2. I want a big party called “marriage ceremony” that other people also understand as “marriage ceremony” (as opposed to just any party)
  3. I like the way married couples are portrayed in films and books (Ignoring the fact that in real life, a lot of marriages are unhappy, dysfunctional and draining until they end up in divorce).
  • Bob Smith@sopuli.xyz
    3·
    6 days ago

    I’m a married person and I had a few reasons. First and foremost was the feelings-based subjectivity of absolutely adoring my long-term girlfriend who was also my best friend. I wanted to be there for her for as long as we’re both around and I wanted her to trust that I would be there for her. She felt the same way and wanted to demonstrate that she was all in, which was just as important. For a lot of people (if you look at the divorce statistics), marriage doesn’t offer peace of mind. For us, it did. This has everything to do with our temperament, how we are with one another, and the things in life that we want, and what makes us worry about the future. I had a lot of options, but I certainly wouldn’t have married anybody else that I’d met.

    We also have careers that could involve moving to another region from time to time. There’s a significant cost to walking away from a job to be with your partner, so being on the same page about the long-term nature of the relationship is an important part of the decisionmaking process. Health insurance/other benefits is a small but significant thing. It wasn’t a factor in our initial decision to marry, but marriage makes it easier to share some things depending on where you live and what type of people are running your government. For me personally, it also made it easier to wrap my head around estate planning, life insurance, and stuff like that.

    A minor note based on post-marriage experience: The wedding ring is a decent weirdo-repellent. It isn’t foolproof, but it cuts down on some of the social nonsense that single people have to handle. If that interests you, you could just stay single and wear a ring.