We have a simple home(1 floor. 1bath. 2rooms) We live in a calm neighborhood, we don’t own extremely expensive things. And he wants a camera inside our home? For what? This camera can also record audio. We have a child together, we work and we come home. Why do we neeed a camera inside? I feel like it’s an invasion of privacy! I love being silly inside our home. I love yelling. I love singing annoyingly when I’m alone. Should I feel disrespected? Should he feel disrespected? He’s bringing out the “what do you have to hide card”.
See a counselor together. There’s obviously something causing a trust issue, and it’s probably completely minor. A counselor can help you sort it out. My wife and I saw one years ago and it was awesome. We’re on a great path now but often I wish we still saw one with some regularity.
Your analogy about the phone is spot on. You’re not doing anything wrong but do you really want someone seeing your search history about “how long do hemorrhoids last?” Hell nah.
This question belongs in r/relationships I think.
I had the desire for cameras inside and outside cause live in not the worst but not the greatest area. My SO had no real issues with it so we went for it. A few weeks later I noticed myself going into a deep state of depression and it took me a while to realize that the inside cameras was making me very uneasy, feeling like I was being watched. Being a veteran with PTSD there were likely other things that contributed and made the matter even worse but really I felt like I wasn’t even living in my own home. I started tip-toeing, opening/closing doors slowly, and being as quiet as possible just for example. In retrospect this all feels a little dramatic but beforehand I never considered any of that being a possibility and it ended up making me feel a way I didn’t like of course. You need to talk with (not “at”) your SO about what they want and why they want it and then express your concerns whether that’s your feelings, emotions, safety, and/or something different with your SO. Discuss how there could be impacts not yet realized too. There is compromise here if some level of psychological safety is practiced on both ends.
I have found great relief being able to remotely connect and make sure things are ‘OK’. For example, we were away during a tornado. Another time, my hot water heater leak alarm went off, I was able to log in and verify that it was a false alarm.
Out of respect for my partner, I keep the mics off, unless I specifically turn them on to check.
I understand OPs hesitations.
I have done the following
- camera firmwares have been tweaked and are now local only and stream to my Home Server and all other access from other devices is blocked
- external access only via VPN. No Apps, no cloud etc
- notifications are sent over the cloud but hold only an alert, no Screenshots
- cameras are turned off when me or my partner are within 100m of our home. I did this with a simple USB switch so the cameras are getting no power at all.
- persistent notifications Camera On on different devices.
- using a good Firewall and a SIEM to monitor devices, traffic and access.
Maybe OP would be OK with a similar setup. I had wanted to use cams for presence and person detection but my partner vetoed that pretty quick.
Motion detector at best.
Motion detectors won’t tell you that your smoke alarms are going off or which one of your dogs has learned to open the fridge. lol
Honestly, that’s a post for r/relationships or r/aita …
It sounds like you’re getting some extra sauce on your Taco and he just wants to make aure
Have you asked him why he wants this?
Hard no, and yes you should be offended.
For some reason the vendors seem to really push interior cameras. I personally don’t want that either (excluding things like a baby monitor). Maybe he has just bought into the add that it will somehow keep your family safer? It is easier for sure.
Have you discussed it at all? Just say you wouldnt want to see yourselves online somewhere if you get hacked. I assume it is ring or wyze or blink or similar….
Offer alternative. Like exterior door cam or something if he’s being protective.
of course they push them because they want folks to buy more of their product.
Outside only I reckon. No need, unless you are away on holiday. Otherwise set it up so it turns off when you are home and only comes on when you leave, so it’s a security camera then. Why does he want it?
talk to him?
We have cameras all over our house. But, whenever anyone is home, they have no power. We physically cut the power to all cameras.
We use the cameras for monitoring our home while away, mainly to detect fires or water leaks.
I once had a neighbor who would set up a camera on his kitchen counter when away on long trips. Pointing at the sink bowl. To detect backups. Which were frequent in our building. And he lived on the lowest floor.
Better than coming home to brown sludge.
I’m going to install one but it’ll be physically off unless I’m not home. It’s only for vacation and trips away. I do mean physically unplugged.
It’s not about what you have to hide. I do not want to watch myself. Not when I’m making Dino noises making espresso. Not when I do something strange like trip over my own feet. Nope hard pass.
There are cameras with lids that open physically, so the view is blocked when it’s off. When it’s open, it means the camera is on.
So if you allow a camera in your living space, look for one with a lid