Hey yall, names Evelyn!
Ive been having a rough time lately; i WAS a federal civil servant in my dream job, that I thought id have for the next 20 years. Then I got DOGE’d. As a result, I have to sell my new house, and move back with my mom. 5000 miles away.
Anywho, Ive been struggling through the bottom surgery process, getting letters and whatnot. I’ve turned in the necessary docs and should get my date within the next week. That being said, I’ve found what could be called a… lump, on my testicle.
I have been urged by reddit to consult with a doctor and have it inspected, but quite frankly, if a cancer diagnosis delayed my bottom surgery, I would kill myself. Flat out, period.
My life in general is shit. I have intense self loathing. I’ve lost everything because of the trump administration. Im ugly. Hideous and masculine. This, right now, is the only thing I have going for me.
Sorry for the vent. I guess I have to put this out there before I schedule my physical. I just feel like I’ve got no one to talk to, including my therapist.
Cheers.
Quick update:
Ended up getting checked out. Doc said its probably nothing but scheduled an ultrasound just to make sure. Thank yall for your concern!!
I’m no medical professional, but if anything that sounds like a damn good reason to put a rush on (at minimum) orchiectomy.
Also a (soon to be) former federal employee (DAF). For a multitude of reasons i took the DRP 2.0 to get out, mostly because i knew damn well I was redundant and local orgs were trying to secure job positions against contractors before this administration.
All that to say, I get it. Its awful to lose that kind of job security, especially if its a dream job.
I’m not the best at talking but my DMs are open if you ever wanna talk. There’s also the matrix which has lots of people in it, including some people who have done bottom surgery
not every lump is automatically cancer, i’d say. the chances for that are small, but you should still let a doctor see it.
I had an orchi in December 2024 before my vaginoplasty 6 months later. If you get a good surgeon or go with the same surgeon for orchi as well as vaginoplasty and they say they can do the orchi and then the vaginoplasty later, it shouldn’t be a problem.
The problem arises if you get the orchi from a surgeon that isn’t trying to preserve the scrotum as a graft for later and the scarring ruins it for vaginoplasty, in which case a graft will have to come from elsewhere on your body (not ideal), or you would have to use a different method like peritoneal pull-through.
Either way, see a doctor and figure out what your options are. It’s possible the tumor is benign and this panic is misplaced, or it’s cancer and you need to have it taken out ASAP and you get an orchi sans gate-keeping sooner than expected (which is still a win).
Either way, it’s a good idea to see a doctor and be practical about next steps - your health matters, and you have to work with the reality you’ve got.
Just remember transition is a long term process, you have to be patient with HRT and to get surgeries - some people are on waiting lists for over a decade to finally get the surgery, so temper your expectations and prepare yourself mentally however you can. Maybe find a trans-affirming therapist or someone who understands this.
Also, my DMs are open (and you can chat me up on Matrix if you would like) in case you need someone to talk to. Good luck 🫂
