It’s not our Weekly Thread (I will post it in a couple days, like every week) but I just replied this in another thread and thought it might be worth sharing with you guys. I also invited the OP to join our community. Hopefully, they will. A short summary, to give you some context: the OP was worried that they can’t keep on writing in their journal and asked for advice. What follows is my reply to the OP reply to my first comment. The whole thread can be read here.
It’s a bit long but I see so many (young or not so young) people being blocked by that perfectionism shit (I also had to fight against it, mind you). Let me know, if you think this has little to do with our community or if you think it’s ok and feel free to add your own remarks and suggestions:
One thing I’ve discovered about my mentality is that, I’ve developed a perfectionist perspective/mindset
Perfectionism is the enemy of creativity, which journaling can be considered a form of but that’s true of any form of writing. Perfectionism will often be used as an excuse to not finish/publish a text. I learned at a very young age to say to my own perfectionism to fuck off. Even for simple stuff like commenting here on lemmy I’m OK with publishing posts/comments in English (which means that they contain even more mistakes than they would have in my native French), I’m ok with mistakes and I can always edit the ones I see later on. I’m also ok with not having a fully articulated expression of what I really want to say (for that you would need to read and me to write in French). And that’s true for any other published work, not just here on Lemmy (I may have been writing for a living, younger).
As far as I’m concerned, I consider perfectionism one of my worst enemy. I see it as my own fear of realizing I’m far from being as good I imagine I am ;)
After reading your insight, maybe I’m sensing a change in my perspective. A positive change. Maybe I can LET GO of the feeling of failure and move on…
So glad to know that!
Don’t be afraid (really) to try letting go of that perfectionism. Worst case: it won’t help you. But if it does help you, you will never regret getting rid of that shit feeling.
A warning before you try anything new: you need to be prepared, like be OK in you head, like for real because it’s the most likely outcome, with the idea that you will fail at doing it, that will fail the first time, and maybe the second time and maybe more. And even if you don’t fail, you may be ok with doing something great either. That’s not an issue. That’s how you begin. That’s how anyone begins. Trying to get rid of that shit feeling of perfectionism you will indeed fight years-long education and habits. It’s not just an on/off switch so be ok with that ;)
We now live in an age that hates failing and is in absolute adoration before perfectionism(at least as much as it is in adoration before money). That is the most stupid thing ever conceived; And it is even more so for all the kids that are being taught that. Because, simply put, failing is essential part of leaning. I would even say failing is the only legit way to learn anything that is worth learning.
How did you learn to walk? By walking a marathon or running a sprint like some athlete or was it by falling on your diapered toddler bum one clumsy step after another, over and over again? Yeah, not that brilliant but be assured that was the exactly the same with me. How did you learn to write? By writing poetry that put to shame dear Shakespeare at your very first attempt? Or by making a shit ton of mistakes, and by writing each letter clumsily one at a time, and then, after years of practice, by realizing you were indeed able to write your first (but still rather poorly worded) real sentences? So did I. And I experience that with every single language I learn(ed), even more so with non-Latin languages. And how did you (maybe?) learn to kiss, and more? Don’t tell me you were at the top of your art from your first kiss, and that you were a perfect lover the first time too because I certainly wasn’t (and, decades later, still am not ;)
Failing and then trying to understand how and why, and how to avoid repeating the exact same mistake, is at the core of learning and therefore should be at the core of any quality teaching too. Not telling kids they’re perfect and all they do is amazing. That’s bullshit. Alas, it’s that bullshit that is now the norm. Heck, teachers in schools nowadays are even afraid to give poor grades to students as that could be traumatizing for the kids… forgetting that’s it’s the sole purpose of giving a grade: to assess the level of assimilation of whatever the student was supposed to have studied. Sad state of affair out of which the real losers here are those students that don’t learn essential knowledge and skills anymore. They’re the ones that are being screwed up.
Sorry, for that rant. It’s something that worries me a lot to watch so many younger people being frozen by the fear of failing despite being at the very age where they should happily be taking so many fucking risks and be daring of trying the most stupid shit. I also worry a lot realizing those younger ones are very quickly becoming unable to read and write, or to do simple math. Meaning they aren’t able to learn and understand much by themselves, and less and less able to communicate whatever thought, emotion, or idea they may wish to share.
To get back to your situation: your journal is not a work of art that will end up exposed in art galleries nor in a museum, maybe you will do stuff that will end up exposed and studied, no one can predict the future, but they should not be your journal. That journal is one of the tools in your toolbox with which you will do what you want with your life. It’s also a work in progress. Use it, abuse it, experiment in it, break it as often as you feel like it. In a few decades, when you will look back at your old journals, you will be happy you have tried (and failed) so many times at so many things. And I’m willing to bet you will be happy to have kept a record of all those failed and imperfect attempts of yours ;)
For me personally, perfectionism is something that you lose as you get older. When I was younger, I wasted a lot of time on insignificant details, rather than focus on getting something done. Now I can put my focus and motivation on the things that actually matter and getting it done is more important than getting it perfect (which you’re not going to achieve on the first try anyway).
As for my journal, I don’t mind bad handwriting or clumsy sentences, the only thing I worry is if I’m giving enough detail. On the one hand I want to keep it brief, but on the other hand, I don’t want to miss out on important things. Before writing I have to think about what I want to include and what is OK to leave out.
For me personally, perfectionism is something that you lose as you get older.
Interesting, I never thought about it like that (nearing my 60s). I decided to get rid of that ‘perfectionist paralysis’ of mine, like I used to call it, in my early 30s and never looked back but to this day it has remained a constant fight. I mean, I could as easily today spend weeks rewriting a single paragraph exactly like, in my 20s I was endlessly rewriting the first few sentences of most stories I wanted to write but never finished writing. Switching back to analog helped me a lot in that regard: rewriting by hand is a slow and painful process compared to the constant temptation of instantly editing on a computer screen, so writing longhand I quickly stopped mindlessly editing… but I don’t think I’m smarter or wiser than I was back then. More aware of my laziness, maybe ;)
the only thing I worry is if I’m giving enough detail.
This bugged me for so long! I ended up with lengthy and, frankly speaking, unreadable blocks of text that would go on and on for pages. Nowadays, I only write a few noticeable details, if there is any deemed noteworthy, and joyfully ignore all other details.
For example, I was into that church a few days ago. I did not describe it in my journal despite having a lot to say about it. I only put down my impression of the quietness (damaged by the constant roaring noise of urban traffic, as the church is on a very busy street of Paris) and of its huge ceiling light plus the many light bulbs placed absolutely everywhere. I also wrote how, imho, electric light in old churches, that one at least, has ruined its mood by erasing any notion of deepness (very little shadows anywhere), uncertainty and stuff like that (like how those old churches were never built with electric lighting in mind, only candle and sun light which are so different and how electricity, by lighting everything equally, has made everything indifferent or too certain, merely a prop which churches like this one were not supposed to be). Anyone reading that passage of my journal would have no idea what the inside of that church looked like but would get a pretty accurate description of what I imagined the (non-electric) original light to be like, back then and how I think electricity has destroyed all of its magic. A couple or maybe three paragraphs, no more ;)
Interesting, I never thought about it like that (nearing my 60s). I decided to get rid of that ‘perfectionist paralysis’ of mine, like I used to call it, in my early 30s and never looked back but to this day it has remained a constant fight. I mean, I could as easily today spend weeks rewriting a single paragraph exactly like, in my 20s I was endlessly rewriting the first few sentences of most stories I wanted to write but never finished writing. Switching back to analog helped me a lot in that regard: rewriting by hand is a slow and painful process compared to the constant temptation of instantly editing on a computer screen, so writing longhand I quickly stopped mindlessly editing… but I don’t think I’m smarter or wiser than I was back then. More aware of my laziness, maybe ;)
That is probably one of the differences between analog and digital: On a computer, you’d go back and revise your sentences a few times, while on paper, where this isn’t as easily done, you just leave it.
For example, I was into that church a few days ago. I did not describe it in my journal despite having a lot to say about it. I only put down my impression of the quietness (damaged by the constant roaring noise of urban traffic, as the church is on a very busy street of Paris) and of its huge ceiling light plus the many light bulbs placed absolutely everywhere. I also wrote how, imho, electric light in old churches, that one at least, has ruined its mood by erasing any notion of deepness (very little shadows anywhere), uncertainty and stuff like that (like how those old churches were never built with electric lighting in mind, only candle and sun light which are so different and how electricity, by lighting everything equally, has made everything indifferent or too certain, merely a prop which churches like this one were not supposed to be). Anyone reading that passage of my journal would have no idea what the inside of that church looked like but would get a pretty accurate description of what I imagined the (non-electric) original light to be like, back then and how I think electricity has destroyed all of its magic. A couple or maybe three paragraphs, no more ;)
I think for this taking a picture would be best. A picture says more than a thousand words, as they say. That is one thing I’d like to do for my journal, but I have to figure out a method first for printing it, that doesn’t cost me an arm and a leg :-D . This is were digital journaling shines, as you can just add as many pictures as you like.
One of those Canon Selphy printers will make small prints fairly cheaply. Not as cheaply as a thermal printer, but it will be a real, full-color print that should last.
That is one thing I’d like to do for my journal, but I have to figure out a method first for printing it, that doesn’t cost me an arm and a leg :-D .
I use one of those cheap Chinese thermal printer that they sell for kids, one that print on B&W rolls of receipt paper and I glue it in my journal (that said, I prefer sketching). The printer was less than 20$ and each roll is a few $ and can print a lot of pictures. I purchased a pack from a closing business I probably have enough til the end of time ;)
How long do the prints last? I’ve heard that they fade rather quickly
How long do the prints last? I’ve heard that they fade rather quickly
As far as I can tell, it depends the quality of the thermal paper (which contains the ‘ink’ so to speak). The cheap rolls I got with the printer faded in less than 5 months. Heck, two months in I noticed they were already fading. The quality ones I purchased from that closing shop (alas, they’re unboxed and unbranded) have not yet started to fade. They’re holding quite well. So, if I had to buy rolls, I would search what are some reputable brands and try those.
