I’m leaving my PhD.

Made the decision a couple of days ago, I think, but I only made it true today. I really hated this… My mom wasn’t even surprised, though apparently my grandma and my brother were both shocked. My supervisor is pissed, also because, admittedly, I really didn’t give him any warning I was feeling this way. But, I mean, what was I supposed to do?

I think this was a mistake. I hate research.

OK.

Then?! I mean, it’s not that the issue is the projects or him or the university. The problem is, undeniably, ME! I don’t want to be there. I got myself in too deep, I don’t want to be in this world, so I decided to leave. I could’ve left sooner, sure, I couldn’t left later… I could’ve left at a more convenient time for my supervisor, but I’m really not in the mood to torture myself any longer. I reached my breaking point, so I broke. It took time to reach this conclusion, it couldn’t be helped.

Now, I hope I don’t have to give the grant money back or pay the tuition… It’s not particularly likely that I’ll have to pay buy the grant money, but I might have to pay back the tuition, since the grant provider might not have payed it yet and may refuse to do so. It’s fine, I can afford it, I think… But still. If I have to give everything back I’ll be financially set back quite significantly, but that’s life, I guess.

Good luck to me!