I’m in my late 20s now and I feel so much despair.

I think a huge factor that shaped my world is my breakup almost 3 years ago. I had dated several people, actually more than several, before then.

I feel like people think I am delusional when I say this, but he was genuinely the nicest person I’ve ever met in my life. I don’t understand how it’s possible for someone to have actually cared about me to the extent he did. At times I felt like he actually cared about me more than my own mom did. It wasn’t just that, he was intelligent and hilarious too and we had a lot in common.

Unfortunately I wasn’t good enough for him and he didn’t want to continue the relationship. This basically fundamentally broke me.

I had my share of heartbreaks before, but even when I met him, I was basically at my breaking point with love. I remember telling myself this was my last try (because I was so done). To this day I literally have no idea how I could have so much in common with someone. It’s like we completely agreed on almost every aspect in life. Did he just lie to me or agree with everything I said or something?

Apparently he has also had random acquaintances tell him he’s a breath of fresh air and so nice to be around compared to most people, so it’s not just me.

I really don’t know what to do other than cry about losing him. I’ve tried so hard to find happiness for myself but how could I let something like that go?

My life hasn’t gotten any better since then and I honestly think I am hopeless. Genuinely.

Literally everyone pales in comparison to what I had with him. Even though what I had clearly wasn’t real, because ultimately he clearly didn’t feel the same about me since he chose to leave. It felt real to me, talking to him is the most enjoyable thing I had experienced in my life.

This all sounds extremely sad and pathetic but really what am I supposed to do? I bet most people haven’t even come close to meeting someone like him so they can’t relate to this at all. I am going to sound insane again but I think he is some prodigy or something. Like one of those one in a million once in a lifetime people that most won’t even get the chance to meet.

  • Djfok43@lemmy.worldOPEnglish
    1·
    4 hours ago

    I’m not trying to be antagonistic when I say this, but I don’t think it’s his fault that he is shallow. He probably couldn’t help the fact that he wasn’t as attracted to me as he would have liked to be. I don’t necessarily think that makes him a bad person, though I kind of agree he maybe shouldn’t have dated me or led me on to the point that he did, if he knew from the start I was not what he was looking for.

    I think he was just excited to finally have a gf, and to have met a girl he had a bunch in common with that he liked talking to. I think he definitely liked the validation and attention from it too.

    I think maybe im being easy on his wrongdoings because of the nice things he did for me too. And they weren’t super small things either. I don’t know, but all I can say is I’ve met a lot of guys and I never felt like anyone understood me or even remotely cared about me like he did. Maybe I’m just unlikeable trash, because at this point that’s my only explanation. Its not like I’ve rejected a bunch of good guys or anything.

    Maybe his honesty was a way to absolve himself of the guilt he felt by leading me on, I’m not sure. But I feel like if either way he is going to date me, it’s better to be honest about how he feels at least a little.

    Honestly, that didn’t offend me because I know I’m not that pretty, and he did warn me that he is generally shallow appearance-wise. So like nothing he said was wrong. And I do get why he would want someone prettier to be with “forever”. It did make me a bit sad though that I couldn’t be what he wanted.