Hi,

jlai.lu is the french instance of Lemmy, some user posted this thread 16 days ago : https://jlai.lu/post/11504685, and a flamewar ensued between hexbear and the french, e.g. between happybadger and their administrator here.

Since they didn’t really have any reason to defederate initially, they’re now adamant that they should defederate only because of this discussion, since it proved that every Hexbear&Lemmygrad user is agressive(, as if jlai.lu users weren’t agressive in this discussion as well).
I still find hard to believe that they could defederate on such weak basis, and it does feel like a convenient excuse, but that’s what they’re saying, ask them for confirmation if you don’t believe it either.

They also used a list of post found on /c/MeanwhileOnGrad@sh.itjust.works as if it was representative, but it hardly counts as an argument, what a stupid situation…

They’ve now pinned this post for 12 days, and the defederation with both Hexbear and Lemmygrad seems unavoidable.
I’ve known this for more than a week but didn’t care that much, yet when talking with them, and especially @Camus here, they/he said that they/he would like to talk to you. @Camus is very patient/nice, and you can look at his number of comments/posts to gauge his influence, probably their most active user(, kind of a french ☆ Yσɠƚԋσʂ ☆).
Well, to be more precise, he informally asked for some excuses from Hexbear, but my post here didn’t reach them, perhaps because of “r*tard” in my username(, r*tardataire designate someone who’s late in french).
However, more than excuses in the name of others, you only have to show him that we’re not aggressive(, if you have some time, it won’t change much in the end), something very easy/natural to prove for >90% of Hexbear users(, and perhaps >70-80% of Lemmygrad 🙂, it does feel a bit more bitter/serious here, not a criticism).

They have some communities that aren’t that far apart from what could be found on Lemmygrad or Hexbear b.t.w., so it can’t really be said that they’d reject us solely based on terrorism apologia, supporting Stalin, etc.(, even if their “leftist” admin is against socialist countries because our capitalists said that they’re authoritarian).
Staying federated with a french instance would be useless for 99% of Hexbear and Lemmygrad, so if you intervene it’d mostly be on the behalf of current/future french users(, it can be nice sometimes to speak your native language without using an alt account), and perhaps also for Lemmygrad and Hexbear’s reputation on jlai.lu.
If you’re french, and/or simply nice, and want a chat with them, feel free to do so directly under the post or with @Camus.
(Kinda worth mentionning in passing that, currently, their top two posts of all time sorted by the most comments are the ones cited above about this defederation)

Also, keep in mind that this defederation is unavoidable though, if it doesn’t happen now it’ll be next year or the year after. As you know, reddit banned ChapoTrapHouse, GenZedong, etc., and we were quickly banned from lemmy.world and others, so we’ll one day be banned from other “centrist” instances such as the french one. Just like we’d also be banned/censored by our governement if our numbers grow enough to disturb/‘be a threat’.
Furthermore, Hexbear took action, and decided to defederate first without even trying to discuss more calmly. So don’t waste too much of your time either(, but please don’t go there unless you intent to speak calmly).

Thanks for reading :) !

  • Pili@lemmygrad.ml
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    1 day ago

    And I recommend every Hexbear and Lemmygrad users who brigaded jlai.lu and insulted them to do some serious self-criticism too. I don’t want to pretend that what was said wasn’t grave when the person behind it tries so hard to minimize it, that entire episode created a lot of heat and I don’t want it to be for nothing, I want to see some growth emerge out of it.

    I don’t mind disengaging and let you handle all of it, I would prefer it actually, but in the end there can’t be acceptance if either side think they can disrespect the other.

    • soumerd_retardataire@lemmygrad.mlOP
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      1 day ago

      Wow, it’s the perfect example of me not realizing that someone was really nice in the end, i’m sorry.
      Engage all you want, just i don’t think that he’ll be there and it feels useless/‘less constructive’ to be agressive, but you’re ultra-nice in this comment do what you want :)

      • Pili@lemmygrad.ml
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        1 day ago

        I realise that my comment could be seen both as mean or as “nice” (I wouldn’t go as far as calling it nice personally, maybe neutral), It’s complicated to convey tone and intent through text. Also I’m particularly tired so I’m not making the best efforts to put in the form. Anyway I’m done for the night.

        • soumerd_retardataire@lemmygrad.mlOP
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          1 day ago

          Yep, je pars me coucher moi aussi
          J’avais totalement oublié que tu étais la même personne avec qui j’avais parlé ici et d’ailleurs(, j’avais regardé ton profil pourtant, avec un ctrl-f pour jlai.lu, mais oublié que t’avais changé de compte, dsl, j’aurais juste pu checker dans ce post-ci)
          à + !