So I don’t have a ton of dating experience straight or queer, so I thought this video was pretty interesting. Also, since starting my transition, I’ve been noticing more and more how the massive amounts of unexplored baggage from gender norms influences how a lot of people interact, including when it comes to dating.
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I view this from a kinda different perspective than them, mostly because i do not view myself as ever having been a guy and my pre-crack relationships are probably where that showed the most. It’s one of the reasons why i’m so glad that i won’t date straight women again, being expected to act like a man sucked. I can’t judge how that works for people who actually want to be a man or who are at least ok-ish with it, but i’m so much more at ease when i do not have to live up to that expectation, it makes dating and intimacy a lot easier. Like, i’ve seriously had exes who outright told me that i always have to be the big spoon when we’re cuddling because they can’t handle it otherwise. The straights are not ok.
So i’m viewing this mostly from the perspective of an extremely online poly t4t lesbian who used to date more straight women than was good for her, and i can echoe a lot of the sentiments in that video. I have slightly different views on some things, like telling if a girl is into you being easier in queer contexts. It’s not always the case when just being nice and flirty with each other is just how friendships work. Like, the line between a good friend and a friend + can be very fine. There’s definitely some truth to all the useless lesbian memes, but … they also work really well when somebody shows you they are interested in dating and that you can be more forward. Outright posting a meme that says “i’m really awkward and also autistic and need very obvious clues when you’re flirting with me” can actually make things much easier. It leads to situations were being both forthcoming and respectful of boundaries kinda comes naturally. Maybe that’s also because queer people are more used to actually talking about intimacy instead of taking things for given. When you don’t have an entire culture telling you, in often downright awful and toxic ways, how hooking up, having sex and being in a relationship work, you have more things to figure out for yourself and that makes it easier to just communicate. I guess that goes doubly for kinky people due to that scene having more needs to establish consent in detail, talking about fantasies and boundaries and so on, but i can’t really compare this because i just haven’t dated any purely vanilla queer girls since i came out.
I found a YouTube link in your post. Here are links to the same video on alternative frontends that protect your privacy:
