Episode 17: Everyone Dies Near a Hole

Natures greatest monstrosity has awoken. Can four novice adventurers stand in its way?
No.

I believe it was the Bohemian novelist Franz Kafka who said:
“The meaning of life is that it stops.”

DM - Jason Azevedo
Apprentice to the Great Wizard Steve - Bill Rehor
Old Tammy - Matthew Lillard
Chrissy (Changeling Fighter) - Deborah Ann Woll
Iggy Bird (Aarakocra Ranger) - Clare Grant
Tomas Bizzbear (Half-Orc Ranger) - Sean Gunn
Vesuvia (High Elf Sorceror) - Danielle Perez

The first thing you feel is the warmth of the sun on your faces. You smell the sweet scent of stale mead, the braying of farm animals, and birds singing outside the window of the Happy Hummingbird Tavern. You sit in the tavern because the day before, in this quaint village of Meadowbrook, you completed your first quest.
As you sit and enjoy your beverages (warm honey mead, sweet wine, perhaps some ale) and a collection of meats and cheeses, you hear what sounds like a slight rumble. You watch as your cups, your mugs on the table, shake slightly. The liquid in them just kind of ripples a little bit.
You continue your conversation until again, just a little tremor occurs throughout the tavern You’re alone in this tavern (other than the barkeep) and the barkeep starts to look around, and looks a little confuse, and looks at you all and says,
“D-d-did you feel that?”
A Mage’s apprentice shows up and heads directly for the group.
Steve’s apprentice:“I bring you a dire warning, but some hope. You see, there is a magic spell that can take an entire town and move it into a pocket dimension, just long enough for this monstrous beast to run through, at which time the town can be redistributed back where it came from and, be totally unharmed. A great wizard in Bumbleflux was preparing this spell…but unfortunately he ran out of time, and has been crushed along with everyone else in Bumbleflux.
But in this case, we have an even better wizard, my master Steve. He knows this same spell and is preparing it as we speak. But we’re going to run out of time. If you could slow it down for just a moment, it would be enough to cast the spell and save your town and your loved ones. You would be heroes. Would you take on this mighty task?”

Highlights

(click to reveal)

Muthafuggin TARRASQUE!!1!

  • 33:45 Dainty changeling gets jacked “Chrissy’s ready to kill some shit.”
  • 43:27 Fan Art Moment Tomas’ skeleton hanging from the Immovable Rod
  • 44:33 The Poem of Cat Team 6
    Iggy Bird with the brightest bluest feathers
    drew the most bravest holes of all the birds who wear leathers.
    He may not have been much for most of his life.
    But when it counted, he was just enough.
    Vesuvia tried to hit him with an acid splash and went bust.
    There once was a fighter named Chrissy.
    She wasn’t at all very prissy.
    She once saved a cat,
    but not just that…
    She also saved a city.