• Foggyfroggy@lemmy.world
    261·
    1 year ago

    Reminds me of love languages, which is a concept that has stuck around in my head a lot longer than I would have expected.

  • GrayBackgroundMusic@lemm.ee
    221·
    1 year ago

    I wish. One of my kids actually interacts with me without prompting, the others not so much… My wife acknowledges me first about once a quarter. My extended family notices me once a year or less! I haven’t had friends invite me first to anything in so long, it’s always me inviting them. At least my dog acknowledges me on a frequent basis.

    Good for op, but I have none of that.

  • Caesium@lemmy.world
    221·
    1 year ago

    Owning cats helped me realize love is not simply words. Every cat I had showed their affection towards me differently, but i could still recognize it the same.

    • mar_k [he/him]@hexbear.netEnglish
      81·
      1 year ago

      I’m sorry to hear that. You deserve as much as anyone, you’re not unlovable. I wish I could help you, but I’m not too good at this, or knowing what to say.

      I’ve been suicidal before, and while I haven’t experienced anything like that, I can assure you that life changes for the better for people all the time, even if it doesn’t seem like it will. You’re not stuck. There’s a lot of coldness in this world, but there’s also people you can meet if you put yourself out there. The other comment you got was sort of toxic, but they’re right in that if you put effort in it doesn’t have to be like that.

      I’d also recommend looking for community resources, local counselors, and maybe using a texting crisis line, like this. Idk about lemmy but there’s also probably a lot of productive mental health forums you can find all over the internet, for people with similar experiences that might be able to help you out better.

        • mar_k [he/him]@hexbear.netEnglish
          7·
          1 year ago

          Ok, I would recommend texting lines and other online services instead of a counselor. I also think finding productive forums for this could help you out (places with actual support, not places that will make you feel worse).

          Don’t ever assure someone in a bad position that it’ll get better.

          I didn’t though. I said “life changes for the better for people all the time,” even people in extreme lifelong conditions like yours. I didn’t assure you anything will get better. I just meant it’s possible and attainable if you work towards it. That might be hard in your current state, but I don’t think it’s impossible. There’s a ton of good people out there. I’d hug you right now if I could.

        • charlie [any, comrade/them]@hexbear.netEnglish
          4·
          1 year ago

          Disability programs in the US are fucking criminal and support programs are actively being dismantled everywhere I look around me. If you need to vent, I’m an open pair of ears.

    • Osirus@sh.itjust.works
      513·
      1 year ago

      Why? This life is such a gift and every day is a chance to change what you don’t like about it. Invest some time and effort into it. You have the power to turn life into anything you want and you are just going to throw it away? Quit whining and put in work. This whole “poor me” shtick is lame. A hug is a two way street. How many times have you put yourself out there to receive a hug? Be a hugger. Offer. I went to a 40th birthday party for my friend lastnight which I don’t go out much… I hugged every person that I hadn’t seen for 20 years. Every person hugged me back. Do something for yourself and for other people and stop expecting MFs to make it happen for you. Damn.

        • Osirus@sh.itjust.works
          43·
          1 year ago

          There are plenty of people out there that are disabled that are a force for good and positivity. Don’t give me that shit. I was an alcoholic, I was abused by my father, sexually abused by a young man, I have ptsd, depression anxiety, I refused to accept that I would lead a miserable life any more. You do what you can to change the situation. I’m sorry you are disabled, I’m sorry you are depressed but those things don’t have to define you. That defeatist mindstate you are stuck in is what makes people avoid you, not the fact that you have a fucking cane. Jesus, cry me a river, you act like you are the only person who ever had a problem in life. Pick yourself the fuck up and keep trying to better your situation. Seek out medications to fix your depression. Do something besides sitting on the internet having a fucking pity party for yourself.

  • Napain@lemmy.ml
    103·
    1 year ago

    that’s a wholesome post but it also sounds in healthy and repressed. the world doesn’t end if y’all say i love you to your family members once in a while

    • Jumi@lemmy.world
      8·
      1 year ago

      Everyone has a different love language. Some say it and some prefer to show it in other ways.

      • somethingsnappy@lemmy.world
        5·
        1 year ago

        I am here for all of this. We all love, and most of us are bad at saying it. We can give. We can say it. I love so many people. Tell them. Really tell them. It is more freeing than it is free to say.

  • dlok@lemmy.world
    71·
    1 year ago

    I don’t want gifts and it annoys me when I get them because you’re just receiving an obligation to work out what the giver likes when it’s their birthday or Christmas.

    • vithigar@lemmy.ca
      73·
      1 year ago

      What an awful way to view gift giving.

      I don’t ever expect reciprocation when I give a gift. That’s the entire point of a gift. We’re not bartering.

        • vithigar@lemmy.ca
          3·
          1 year ago

          I mean… that still sounds awful. Just through no fault of your own. Which is arguably worse. Or at least more sympathetic.

        • dlok@lemmy.world
          1·
          1 year ago

          Yeah I used to get shamed for not buying presents when I was a teenager and didn’t have a job and I find it really mentally taxing to figure out what to buy people… people who are good gift givers are capable of doing so without it hurting themselves financially too much imo. when I had a job I found myself over compensating by buying people expensive electronics which wasn’t sustainable if I was going to save up and move out so the whole thing just stresses me out.

      • dlok@lemmy.world
        2·
        1 year ago

        Just out of curiosity would you still buy someone gifts if you knew they didn’t like receiving them?

        • vithigar@lemmy.ca
          1·
          1 year ago

          Short answer is “no”. I don’t want to make people uncomfortable and won’t foist gifts onto them that they don’t want. It can be nuanced though, depending on the person and situation. Some gifts are better received than others. Some might not even be perceived as gifts.