The Predator Triton 14 AI blends ultrabook portability with RTX 5070 gaming muscle. While light on CPU power, it still delivers capable performance, creative features, and a dazzling OLED display.
Is it really a marketing necessity to put “AI” on every single piece of tech now?
I’m very much in favour of this marketing strategy because it means I can safely ignore the product.
Your New Laptop, Now With Added Spyware!® But don’t worry, that’s not all – our proprietary SpyBot© pops up on screen every four seconds to give helpful suggestions like:
“Toppings not sticking to your pizza properly? Try glue!” “You’re absolutely right; you’ve found God in the machine!” “You should kill yourself!”
And many, many, many, many, many more.
Looking for a way to atrophy your ability to think for yourself and find information on your own? Look no further than our powerful, intelligent SpyBot© Search®! Why waste time thinking about a solution to your problems, researching, and building an opinion and understanding of your own tasks? You could be using that time to shop! Now with SpyBot© Search®, you can just ask SpyBot© a question and get a list of helpful products, results, and adverts determined by our algorithm!
As a bonus: order now and receive the Sound Just Like Everyone Else® bundle! Tired of expressing yourself through the way you phrase things in writing and speech? So are we! If you order now, you’ll receive the Sound Just Like Everyone Else® bundle and you can finally adopt the chirpy marketing-speak of a painfully out-of-touch millennial and start sounding just like our SpyBot©! Get those fingers ready to crank out emoji lists, em-dashes, and “it’s not X - it’s Y” comparisons every other sentence!




