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The original was posted on /r/cfs by /u/RovingVagabond on 2024-11-07 22:49:36+00:00.

I have ME/CFS and my mom has rheumatoid arthritis. I know RA is no laughing matter and I have seen her struggle with it my entire life. But whenever I talk to my mom about my ME/CFS (newly diagnosed, mild/moderate) she’ll say things like “I felt the same way when I was first diagnosed” or “you’ll find a way to get back to the way things were, I did”, and things like that.

But RA & ME/CFS are not the same. My mom never had to quit her job & move back in with her parents. She never had to stop working full time because of her illness. There are drugs that have significantly helped to ease her symptoms and are easily accessible. She definitely struggles….but she has never struggled just to take a freaking shower.

And I know I sound petty, but I think she thinks that I’ll just adjust to feeling “tired” and then get back to life as before. That my chronic illness story will more closely resemble hers. And I know this is going to take time for her to adjust to too, but I just want her to understand that while her own illness can give her some level of empathy…she can’t pretend I’m going through the same thing she did.